Truth! Everything DOES happen for a reason. I know my friends all silently roll their eyes at me, lovingly, because I say it ALL THE TIME! But ain’t it the truth?
When you say it out loud, you release it to the universe, or like me, I surrender it to God. Let go and Let God. Another one of my favorite sayings. Only then I can accept what is happening with grace and peace.
Isn’t that so liberating?
We don’t always know what the reason is right away, but in time, we always do, right? When I made my vision board this year, I found a caption that said “the year of letting go“. It’s time for me to let go and let God guide me to my purpose in life. So far, so good but not in the least easy. I’m ready for the challenge! To jump into uncharted waters and as terrified as I am, I am excited about the new possibilities. It’s time for me to put more trust in God and stop worrying about the things I cannot control.
When my husband started talking about wanting to retire, I knew I had to go back to work full-time and I was ready. After all, he was supportive in letting me stay home with the kids all these years teenagers, knowing that our daughter would need the support. He had given me the life I had dreamed of and now I want to give him a life he dreams of…enjoying the kids in his retirement and being able to write whenever he wants. He’s an excellent, self-taught writer and has written a few books already and several short stories. He’s happiest when he’s writing, and I love knowing that he feels fulfilled. And so, I was super motivated and quite excited to jump back into my full-time design career.
It sounds awful, doesn’t it? As much as I hate to admit it, but ageism does exist. I thought it would be so easy returning back into the workforce since I stayed in touch with old colleagues and bosses. I was ready! I put my best foot forward, looking pretty sharp, in my opinion, as I headed to my interviews. I was feeling pretty fabulous at 49. Everything looked promising after each interview and was feeling confident and then…nothing.
Every time a door opened, it led to a dead end. Even the people that I was well connected with didn’t answer my calls or emails back. I was dumbfounded, and it didn’t do much for my ego at first and then I heard that voice in my head saying “everything happens for a reason”. I didn’t know it then, but I knew, in time, I would. God always has the right timing when He answers and it’s so amazing when He does!
Don’t you love it when that happens to you whether it be God, or whatever your higher power is? Sometimes it happens to me when I’m meditating. Those moments are so powerful and validating. But at the time, I was really feeling deflated. I felt my age. I thought, “why would they pay me my senior salary when they can hire two junior designers?” (Insert feelings of self-doubt).
And then the other voice kicked in, “maybe you’re not that talented after all, maybe you said something offensive or maybe YOU’RE JUST TOO OLD”. UGH! Words you dread to hear or say out loud, but that’s how I felt! And then one day, as I was searching through LinkedIn for more job possibilities, I found this post on ageism in the workplace that allowed me to come to terms with my feelings. It wasn’t me; it just wasn’t meant to be. God had another plan for me. And then my mom had a heart attack.
How on earth could I have gone back to a corporate job when I needed to care for my mom? And don’t forget my daughter who needs constant support with school work.
It became so clear to me what my purpose is. I need to be available and be able to work from home so I can care for my mom and support my daughter whenever issues arise, arise they did!
I love my husband but admittedly he has said, “I can’t do what you do with the kids”. But let me tell you, he is SO great with my mom. I couldn’t handle all this without him. He is my rock.
It just wasn’t meant for me to go back to a full-time corporate job. All those doors closed because I truly believe that God was trying to tell me where I needed to be and though I may not feel like I have it all together, He was telling me ‘I got this’.
As I mentioned in my About Me page, in the madness to find balance in my life while building a better business for myself, I was led to Footprints of Inspiration created by Tammy. Not only did she have information that was so useful to me as far as time balance and getting organized, but I also loved that she had scripture readings within her blog site. Scriptures that really resonated with me, what I was going through, what I was seeking, and what I really needed to focus on…my trust in God. So here I am, starting over at 50, leaping off a huge cliff because I felt that God was tugging at my heart and telling me that my stories can help others.